Long Time No See

I just rediscovered this blog after AGES. Since I'm in a transition period, which may take another couple of years to complete, I think I'll start dumping here again. Piano lessons went out the window, though somehow I have to find a way to afford to get back to it. I just moved (3 days ago) to make it possible to teach voice. Where I was, the parking was impossible. Where I am now, the parking's metered, but really cheap and plentiful. I'm awash in boxes. It could easily take months to get it all where I want -- or even where it looks reasonable. And work has ramped up, so I won't be leaving on time for awhile, so that lets out evenings to work on my surroundings. That leaves weekends. Unless I get some ginseng happening or something. Once that's done, it's time to start seriously looking for students. I have to start that ASAP, because it will take a long time to build up a studio, and I need the money. The first two students will make up the difference between my old rent and my new, higher, rent. After that, all the teaching proceeds go to paying off credit cards. I want them GONE. With a full studio, they could be paid off in months, but it could take years to build up a full studio, so it's chip, chip, chip away. Anyway. First things first. I have to find where to shop near me, and get the place in order. Can't find my laundry detergent. Should be in some kitchen box, but I can't for the life of me find it. So I have to buy some, even though I already have tons -- somewhere. Also need scissors. I have half-a-dozen pairs of scissors -- somewhere. Found one pair, lost them again. So I gotta get my focus down small right now.

Where does it go?

Money's tighter than ever and it's starting to make me uneasy. I need to start cutting some corners. For one thing, I have a bunch of junk sitting in a storage unit. What I have paid for that junk in storage fees is absolutely sickening. So I'm trying to get that emptied out and get rid of that bill. There are a few other things like that.

But the most important thing I can do is practice piano so I can start taking vocal students. Not only because I need the money, but because I really need to be able to let go of my job at some point. I know it's going to be a year or so at a minimum, probably a few years, but the sooner I can start taking students, the sooner I can build a studio big enough to support me so I can quit.

In the meantime, I have to keep saying, "I'm grateful for my job, I'm grateful for my job, I'm grateful..." Because for now, I absolutely need this job. I'd be seriously screwed without it. But it's the kind of job where a million things can go wrong and often do, and I'm really tired of feeling like a screwup. I have 16 years experience in this field, and I still feel like I can barely do this. And it's boring as shit.

I know I'm going to have major insecurity and imposter issues about teaching voice, but I'll enjoy that work, instead of enduring it; I have support -- my vocal/piano teacher and the students in our vocal pedagogy class, most of whom are teaching or planning to teach; and I'll get better at it, and more confident.

Furthermore, even a few students would supplement my current income very nicely. Next year should be a lot better financially than this one.

So for now, I have to take a few things a day out of the storage unit, practice my piano, cut my expenses, keep reading and going to class. And before you know it, I'll be there.

All Gone

This blog has been deleted.