Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Where does it go?

Money's tighter than ever and it's starting to make me uneasy. I need to start cutting some corners. For one thing, I have a bunch of junk sitting in a storage unit. What I have paid for that junk in storage fees is absolutely sickening. So I'm trying to get that emptied out and get rid of that bill. There are a few other things like that.

But the most important thing I can do is practice piano so I can start taking vocal students. Not only because I need the money, but because I really need to be able to let go of my job at some point. I know it's going to be a year or so at a minimum, probably a few years, but the sooner I can start taking students, the sooner I can build a studio big enough to support me so I can quit.

In the meantime, I have to keep saying, "I'm grateful for my job, I'm grateful for my job, I'm grateful..." Because for now, I absolutely need this job. I'd be seriously screwed without it. But it's the kind of job where a million things can go wrong and often do, and I'm really tired of feeling like a screwup. I have 16 years experience in this field, and I still feel like I can barely do this. And it's boring as shit.

I know I'm going to have major insecurity and imposter issues about teaching voice, but I'll enjoy that work, instead of enduring it; I have support -- my vocal/piano teacher and the students in our vocal pedagogy class, most of whom are teaching or planning to teach; and I'll get better at it, and more confident.

Furthermore, even a few students would supplement my current income very nicely. Next year should be a lot better financially than this one.

So for now, I have to take a few things a day out of the storage unit, practice my piano, cut my expenses, keep reading and going to class. And before you know it, I'll be there.